Now I've heard it all!

When people are pushing 40, have kids, a job they gave up because they wanted to spend more 'quality' time with their family, do they also lose interest in their own lives? I have often wondered about this - considering that many rumours become dishes while chopping that precious potato or twirling the wok that is steaming with a halwa that smells of 'shudh ghee' as soon as you enter the premise.
But the people in question aren't like that, at least as far as spending time in the kitchen is considered. They have fancy apartments because their husbands have somehow managed jobs with a enviable pay package (undeserving nonetheless) and they hold fancy parties where they bring out their best solitaire cut glasses that reflect the smooth golden scotch off the rims. They go out in their fancy cars, wearing rather hideous clothes they think are fashionable and don't realise that showing off a cleavage that lost its charm about ten years ago is no longer the trend.
These people of course have nothing else to do. So one day, a bunch of them decide to get together and cook up a story, probably over baked fish or a manicure. And they decide to talk about me. Yes, ME. I don't remember when was the last time I heard of anyone talking about me. Well I am sure they do and it cannot be all praise. But it's just that very rarely do people bring that back to me. Well this time, it came to me. Probably because I have a few friends who would stand up for me when required (and I never have to ask!) and probably because some people have never mastered the art of keeping their mouth shut even when they know no one wants to listen to them. No, age and maturity has nothing to do with it.
So as per the latest gossip, I am a lesbian. It's actually quite brilliant a story, because I have never stepped back from complimenting a woman who genuinely looks good and pretending to be a snob when a woman doesn't fit my bill of being appropriate enough for my company. Yes, a snob perhaps I am. A lesbian? Hmmm.. it's definitely something I'd like to give a second thought.
My husband had a fabulous suggestion. He said I should call up the source of this comment and tell her how my apartment is empty, I am lonely and that I'd definitely love some company.
But it doesn't end there. This person actually thought/assumed/hoped?/wished? that I hit on her!!! What she doesn't know is that even if I were a lesbian, I wouldn't hit on her. Who finds any woman who can't hold her drink attractive.
And then there was this other woman whom I have never heard of (but she seems to know of my sexual preferences rather well) who confirmed with much aplomb that the entire world (media et al) knows that I AM LESBIAN. Darn, is that why it's so difficult to pick up men these days?
So the third woman who should have figured out her life by now, chose to accept this piece of story and start talking about it.
I am very amused. I love the idea of women being able to establish a relationship with other women and lead normal lives and having the courage to put up with and more often ignore societal hypocrisies and continue to be happy. Sometimes, I even envy them and I do hope that in some life I can be born as a lesbian.
But in this life, I want people to mind their own business.
Oh, and that reminds me. I am also apparently very stagnant in my workplace and am desperately looking for a job - which was of course started by someone whom I'd asked if their magazine was looking for people and if they were paid well.
So, never be curious about other people's companies, work, life... Mind your business (Like I've learnt to) and ignore the fools. They have better company.