Thursday, November 09, 2017

The phone call

The other day I almost dialled his number.
I didn’t mean to, but my disobedient fingers couldn’t keep it to themselves.
But the phrase, ‘the strong shall prevail’, prevented those pesky digits from doing the actual dialling.

I haven’t heard his voice in six months. That’s not too long you’d say.
People don’t see or hear from their loved ones for years, and you’re complaining about a few months. 

But what do you do when you can’t sleep without the customary ‘good night babe, talk tomorrow?’
What do you do when the routine ping in the morning – which could vary from a ‘hello’ to a silly joke or even a news update – stops?

When the customised ring and text tones rust slowly rust to their death.
What do you do when 365-multiplied-into-2 days seem almost unreal?
Like they never happened. Like they were never there. 

Do you then crawl into bed and weep till your small eyes turn even smaller,
And a shade of red that you aren’t terribly excited about?
Do you delay the bath, the brushing of the teeth, and the breakfast?
Surviving only on coffee – black, sweetened with a hint of jaggery – till you really must find a biscuit. 

Do you then just download games, movies, subscribe to various online entertainment channels to binge watch what other people recommend?
Crack funny jokes on Facebook, or take innumerable photographs of food,
Simply because they look a lot better than you do right now?
Because food is the one thing that won’t make people question your sanity. 

Yes, I know the tricks -- all the tricks that I’ve learnt in the past few months.
Because now, I have much more time. A few hours extra every day in fact, 
To understand well and truly, that you aren’t coming back.

Monday, October 23, 2017

River song

It’s odd – the damage we leave behind in our wake
It’s hardly even there, practically invisible
And yet, if you reach out with that index finger
You can feel the rough scab of the the wound
That’s as extensive as a dried riverbed, forgotten
Filled with innumerable stones that no one counts
No lazy boy will sit by its side again and throw pebbles
Make ripples, or see how far they go, or how deep they sink
No paper boats, no sound of water, no floating leaves
In time, it will turn into an odd scar with so many stories
That no one will ever take the trouble to turn the pages, again.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Heart dust

People say that poetry is in the pain 
But then there are those moments 
When you're choking so hard 
And hurting so deep that even 
The darn words wouldn't weave 

People say love is meant to be easy 
But then there are those walls
That are built so high, with cracks
That leave trails through the veins 
And cause trust and faith to fail 

People say that happiness is within 
But then there are those ghosts 
That creep in, and drink from your soul 
Leaving nothing but dried memories 
Of a past that refuses to implode 

People write about love, and about 
The unusual politics of it all 
How much to give and to expect 
About the rules and the rule breakers 
And how there are no rules at all 

But what of those who've died 
From the incurable disease 
That took their heart, and And 
Snapped the core so inexorably that 
Even today they're wandering around. 

Collecting pieces. 

Sunday, September 04, 2016

And that's it

And you push me away 
Ever so nonchalantly 
A gentle nudge 
In the other direction
Takes care of it. 

All the letters remain unsent 
As they remain unwritten 
Words melt to dust 
And settle on the floor 
Quietly, and forgotten. 

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Step on it

Find the thing you love the most
Could it be the touch of a hand 
Or a memory from an old page 
Or your name drawn on sand 

Could it be your mother's voice 
From a time you can't quite remember 
Her kiss on your sweaty forehead 
After a game, one cold December 

Or is it the first time you held hands 
With someone who's still unknown 
And the gentle brush of his fingers 
Across your invisible frown 

Or could it be the last time when 
You saw his dark face in the light 
A kiss that destroyed all kisses 
As he disappeared that night 

Now take that thing you love the most 
And step on it, without a care 
And watch it destroy you piece by piece 
Go on, do it, I dare. 

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

When he left

When he left 
He took whatever little poetry was left in her. 

When he left 
He gave her not even the chance to say the final words 

When he left 
She stared at the blank wall and did not cry 

When he left, only she remained.