Tuesday, May 29, 2007

My blood tells a different tale

My blood tells a different tale
It knows no face, no words, no space
It flows free, without commitment
To the dungeons and back

My soul walks a different line
It doesn't understand variations
Just its own course
That could begin and end anywhere

My mind has its own language
It doesn't care for what you speak
It mimes, it sings as it likes
Calls it freedom; as I know it

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Pop

Hey. Listen
Just for a little while
Be quiet, and just listen

I don’t need an opinion
No solutions
No help either

All I ask of you
Is silence
And a patient hearing

I am going to speak now
Don’t judge
I beg of you

Don’t tell me anything
What is right or what is not
Just listen if you can

I died today
Slowly but surely
I heard a little pop

That felt like a blast
Inside my head
I am sure I died

It’s a funny feeling
Floating in silence
Around the world

Can u hear me?
My words in your ears
Or are you still talking

Fuck. Things never change
Do they?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

In your memory

One flower
That meant nothing beyond that moment
A flower I don’t even like
Still lies all dried up in my drawer

Any other given time
I’d think it to be corny
Silly to be precise
This time I don’t.

I stand on the balcony
Watching people go by
Incomplete souls with
Their hearts lying elsewhere

Lives for them don’t change;
They’re just looking
For a small port key
To take them to that someplace else

Should I dare to be different?
I haven’t even troubled myself to answer that question
I just go by; like everyone else
Not seeing you works relatively well as a painkiller

There’s so much distance between us that
I cannot even fathom
Covering it in this generation
And after that, you’d just go further away

Your life, your love, your passions
Will take shape in different forms
And I will remain Just a speckle of
Memory that you could do without

I ache to reach out and touch your hair
Have done so many times
I want to put my arms around you
And hide away from everything known

Hold your hand like I have earlier
When I needed reassurance
You let me without reading between the lines
Yet I’ve let my heart break a million times from that touch

You’ve lied to me almost all the times
Even when lying was not required
And I’ve forgiven you
Like I will each time you smile and say goodbye

Friday, May 11, 2007

Redemption

She hadn't taken anything from the house before leaving
There was nothing she could really take
Every precious thing was either stolen or destroyed
Eaten alive by reserved anger and repulsion
But she'd looked anyway.

A piece of paper that had no relevance
A faded old letter that had replaced the bible
In her heart a long time ago, when she was fifteen
A letter that'd given her what she needed - a soul.

The letter lay untouched under the wooden flap
Of her dresser that she hadn't seen in years
Like it had been protecting itself against war
Till she returned, one depressing day
To claim what she'd left behind as a mere pawn.

The trees had started to show signs of age
The leaves were tired and resigned, with
Red soil at their feet resting in peace
And the road seemed to go nowhere
Even though people drove up and down it.

Death had touched this little neighbourhood
Even though no one had died lately
A broken pavement that carried infinite footprints
Sure, it need needed urgent attention
And yet it was happy to remain so and unnoticed.

And as she shut the door of the dilapidated house behind her
She turned back to take that one final look
That concealed more than dreams and memories
Of a childhood she would gladly trade
For a night of sleepless dreams.

Friday, May 04, 2007

A splash of good with a pinch of pain

Her wedding card read, “The beaches of Pondicherry probably have magic and that was where we met…”
Didn’t I know that?
The endless sea bound by brick walls may not be my perfect idea of taking pleasure in nature but that small ‘white’ town definitely made me feel at home. Small shops, tons of places to eat and lots of walking space made it just the thing for a quick getaway. The cookie being my friend’s wedding.
Deep down I don’t know if I like it when the philosophical side of me resurfaces and attempts at a lecture. Trust me; most of those times are depressing!
However the magical sea bound by walls of Pondicherry carries a freshness that I can only absorb deep within my city-rotten cells. I fall in love, I ponder, I even introspect.


I didn’t sit on the beach this time at all – spending a lot of time in the comforts of my air-conditioned room, sleeping off all the wear and tear. Life hasn’t been very generous with me this month and all I could do repair my senses that were slight bruised by it all.
After spending three nights of exuberance and respite it was time for us to head back to Bangalore.
I can’t describe the heat. It was hot everywhere. Behind trees, in shade, in the car… and two thoughts developed – reach quick or return quicker.

Well somewhere down that thought road, I had dozed off and when I woke up – I was dead. Well, at least I thought I was dead.
Our car couldn’t withhold the heat and the front left tyre had exploded and run into a wall.
The seat belts were on so we were safe minus a few minor bruises that will take a while to heal.

But a few things occurred to me in that few seconds. No more taking life for granted.
French lessons have to happen; more poetry has to be written, more films, more food.

We got back to Bangalore almost 10 after the accident; happy to be on this planet and happy to be able to walk with my feet on the ground.