Monday, August 29, 2005

shockproof

There are lots of things about my life in Bombay that I don't remember. And I don't know why. It's kind of weird. considering that i did spend some amazing times there, learnt the lessons of life etc, every memory should be categorised and labelled in my brains. but that doesn't seem to be the case.
when i came back to Calcutta after my stint there, i couldnt stop thinking of going back. not that i was going to, but i couldn't resist the occasional thought that dominated my brain for a whole day.
and yet, there is very little memory.

a couple of weeks back, i was wondering why is it that i don't remember stuff. then i realised that there is very little about my life as a child or a teenager that's remained in my cranial library.

a strange sort of feeling engulfed me. i was mighty depressed. i see how my friends can make random references to their life as if everything is carefully laid out in front of their eyes to use.

i don't know who, but a person had told me once that i was shockproof. nothing seemed to touch me. maybe that is why i don't remember stuff.

i have been in and out of relationships; a few short lived ones and one really long one. and of all my relationships, not one has left a lasting impression. it's sad. what a waste of ideas, love, time and everything else that carefully weaves the intricacies of life together.

someday, maybe when i am older and reaching the ripe moment of senility, all my memories will come back. i know it will be then that i will need them most.

1 comment:

Bidisha said...

At times i feel that who are we, where are we headed, and all strange nostalgia surrounds the once secured feelings /emotions.....gone are those days of liveliness and endless laughter.....
often i remember the endless afternoons during the summer vacations when time was mine!!!!!
Strange but true that today we live for ???